... Like A Mother

As an adoptee, I know the title “Mother” doesn’t always belong to the person who gave birth to you. I’ve never known or met my birth mother, but I do have Mom – and she’s a darn good one.

I didn’t come from her womb, but she chose me, took me in, took care of me, raised me, provided for me, loved me … like any real mother would.

So when Mother’s Day arrives every year I always thank my birth mother for life and my Mommy for making it worth living. Because the title Mother is not just about who carried you in their stomach – it’s about who carries you through life. 

And this is not a dig at anyone who abandoned their role as a Mother – I won’t even mention them.

This is about those who took on the role of helping to nurture and raise a child who was not their own.

- The girlfriends and wives who claim their mate’s children and blend the families effortlessly, sometimes helping to make HIM a better Father.

- The women who nurtured children as educators, mentors, volunteers, etc … giving them the positive female role model they may have been lacking in their own lives.

- The friends and family who helped a single mom and her child(ren) by co-parenting and filling in the gaps left by absent parents.

- Or like me … the friends and family who took on the parenting role after a family member died, forming the proverbial village to raise the child(ren).


I don't have children.  But over a decade after my brother passed and I promised to help take care of my niece and nephew … I do sometimes feel like I was something like a mother.

 

I was there from day one. I took care of them. I changed diapers and wiped noses. I wiped away tears and bandaged boo-boos. I helped one learn how to walk and helped the other learn how to read.  
I kept secrets and shared some of my own. I was the good guy and the bad guy. I taught them. I disciplined them when they did wrong. I rewarded them when they did well.

I took them places, showed them things. I nurtured their interests and guided their academics. I bought school supplies and clothes. I made sure they had good birthdays, Christmases and other holidays.

I answered their many questions and calmed their fears. I’ve stayed up with them when they were sick and nursed them. I’ve argued with them and laughed with them ... and even shed tears as they grew up and didn’t need me anymore …

I could go on.


I’ve been their aunt, their tutor and teacher, their counselor, their mediator, their chauffeur, and more. And even if I’m the only one that acknowledges it, I have mothered them as well.


Now I’m not trying to take away from the women that did carry their children, and were there every day, 24/7 … this is just to give recognition to the ones that were there when their mom (or dad) couldn’t (or wouldn’t) be.

The fill-in moms, the second moms, the aunts, cousins and godmothers who help to mold many children and don’t get acknowledged. This is for you.


I may not be a Mother in the true sense, but I am something like one … and to everyone like me, childless or otherwise, I salute you for putting on the mom hat when you're needed, and putting in work.


Happy Mother's Day!